Naisha Ahsian
What Stones Can I Use for My Relationship?
From Naisha's web article http://www.crystalisinstitute.com/articles/relationshipstones.htm
I am often asked, "what stone should I use to heal my relationship?" My answer to that question is invariably, "It depends on whats wrong with the relationship!". Are you experiencing communication issues? Problems with expressing intimacy or vulnerability? Sexual disfunction? A lack of consideration or compassion for one another? The number of challenges that relationship face is equal to the number of relationship there are in the world! It is impossible to say that one stone, or even a few select stones, are the panacea for relationship woes. In order to choose the stone that can best support healing in your relationship, you will need to identify exactly what needs healing. Then, you can't rely on the stone itself, but will need to take concrete steps to heal those issues, using the stone as an energetic support.
With all of that said, there are a few stones that seem to directly affect our ability to relate to one another in relationship. Some help you to feel more loving toward others. Other stones may help you to feel more loving toward yourself, and so more able to bring your particular gifts and energies into a balanced relationship. Some stones may be more effective at helping you to identify where you are holding onto old patterns of behavior from past relationships. Still others will help you to communicate your feelings and needs more effectively to a partner.
In this article I'll discuss just a few of the stones that can be useful in different aspects of relationship. This is by no means a complete catalog of stones that can be used to address relationship issues. It is, however, a brief list of the most commonly used stones to affect relationships. For a more complete explanation of these stones, please reference The Book of Stones. Or, better yet, choose a Crystal Ally Card while focusing on your specific relationship issue.
Stones for Feelings:
Rose Quartz - Rose Quartz is the most commonly recommended stone for all types of relationship and love issues. While its energy is often thought of as simply "soothing", it is in fact a powerful heart opening and heart healing stone. It is an excellent ally to employ when past emotional patterns from relationships are interfering in current experience. Its manganese content works to soothe the nervous system and to help move one out of the "fight or flight" sympathetic nervous system and into the "healing and repair" parasympathethic nervous system. In relationships, this means less knee-jerk, ego based reaction and more open willingness to listen and respond from the heart.
Rhodochrosite - Rhodochrosite is another important manganese bearing stone. This one, however, is more geared toward helping one to maintain a balanced sense of personal power within a relationship. When one feels a lack of self worth or an inability to be centered in their power they can turn to manipulation, jealousy or even rage toward their partner. Rhodochrosite helps one to find one's confidence, heal past childhood trauma that may affect a relationship's balance of power or sexual energy. It can also assist those who tend to lose their identity in a relationship to maintain a sense of self. Rhodochrosite is the best ally to engage when past abuse in relationships has damaged one's ability to trust enough to enter into relationship again.
Emerald - Emerald is a powerful ally for those who are in grief over the ending of a relationship or the passing over of a partner. Its energy brings soothing, heart healing vibrations to the aura that can help one to let go of past attachment and find hope for the future. Emerald assists one in being more openly vulnerable, honest and trusting with a partner-- deepening the relationship and building deep bonds. Emerald also assists one in overcoming patterns of victimization that can create a negative power exchange within a relationship.
Morganite (Pink Emerald) - Like green Emerald, Morganite is a beryllium aluminum silicate. Also like its sister, Morganite helps one to overcome attachment to past relationships. Morganite is an excellent stone for healing from divorce, separation or the ending of a relationship-- particularly when anger, resentment or other difficult emotions are involved. It is excellent for overcoming fear-based self protection that can prevent a new relationship from taking root. It is a stone of Divine Love and emotional healing.
Stones for Communication:
Chrysocolla - Relationship is communication. Without communication, or with communication that is hurtful or ego-based, relationships quickly die. Chrysocolla is a powerful communication stone. It assists one in speaking more clearly about one's feelings and one's knowledge. It can help one to communicate in a way that can be heard and understood by one's partner. It is especially helpful for those who are afraid of speaking up or communicating their truth. Chrysocolla teaches us that words are not only expressions of energy, but they are communications of the spirit. This ally can assist one in finding the words that will empower a relationship. The powerful words "I love you", for instance, repeated several times a day to your partner can become a mantra of power that binds two hearts. Chrysocolla can help you to find the right words at the right time to build bonds of truth and tenderness that are a solid foundation for two hearts to join upon.
Aquamarine - Aquamarine is also a powerful ally for communication. Its energy assists one in overcoming habitual, meaningless and mindless communication in favor of deeper, more conscious words. It can help one to say what one truly feels and is especially good at helping one to overcome martyr or passive agressive patterns. It can be especially helpful in releasing one from habitual patterns of behavior that have been carried from past relationships into the present. It is especially helpful in long term relationships to help one to see one's partner as they are in the moment-- instead of how we perceive them to be based on their behavior in the past; thus keeping the relationship new, fresh and clean.
Amazonite - Communicating boundaries, desires and limits is an important gift of Amazonite. Letting your partner know what you want gives them the opportunity to gift you with it! Amazonite helps those who are unclear about their desires, needs or boundaries to be more clear about their personal truth. Amazonite can help one to communicate this truth more clearly and sensitively to a partner or other person who may need to hear it. Consistantly ignoring your personal needs or boundaries can lead to passive agressive or resentful behavior. Amazonite helps you to honor these aspects so that you can meet your own needs and those of your partner with more consciousness and clarity.
Stones for Passion:
Zincite - Who can speak of passion in relationships without speaking of Zincite? The energy of this ally is the pure energy of passion, creativity, fertility and sexuality. This stone is solid Fire, so use its energy wisely and conservatively-- as it will also bring up any other Fire element issues in a relationship that need to be dealt with-- such as buried anger, resentment or fear. This is a good thing, though, as it assists partners in clearing the air and making up afterward!
Fire Opal - Fire Opal stimulates sexual energy that can be transformed into spiritual energy through the raising of the kundalini and tantric practice. It is a wonderful stone for conscious sexuality and the transcendence beyond sexual expression into pure unity of heart and body. Fire Opal can assist one in becoming more confident and self-assured in social situations or very private situations! It is very useful for overcoming negative body image and helping one to feel more attractive and magnetic.
Ruby - Ruby is a classic stone for physical passion, fertility and abundance. Its energy helps one to enjoy the sensual pleasures of life and to become more engaged in the beauty of the physical world. It is an excellent stone for anyone wishing to build a stronger, more healthy physical relationship with their own body or a partner.
For more information on the stones listed here, please reference The Book of Stones.
© 2006 Naisha Ahsian
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